Thursday, October 28, 2010

Child play

I move too much in my sleep. If I didn't, then I would actually wake up with the bear that I grabbed the night before.

I love the feeling when waking up in the morning and contentment is all around me. It reminds me when I was a kid and I didn't have to keep in mind of all the things I do now.

Bringing out my inner child, I took some photos today.

Doll Make-up / Hair by me.
Paopu plush by friend.

-Tcaho for now

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I don't think I'm as strong as I lead myself on to be.

I want to fly so far away from here.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Friendship and Love.

I've been thinking lately about different concepts in and about life, and one thing that has constantly returned is the concept of love.
I find it questionable when high schoolers get a "significant other" and then a day/week/month later it's all "I love you so much, muah", when they don't really know the feeling of passion.

It's more of infatuation really.

To my actual question,

If I know about these reaction(s), would I do the same when in high school or if I waited, would it be like that in later years...
would it be an easier relationship since we're not taking time on the heavy infatuation?
There's no doubt about it that there's infatuation, and attraction tied into a relationship... if not, where's the spark? The appeal of the other person?
I've wondered lately too why it's so hard to maintain a relationship or to even start one. I was told love can't be half assed. That seems pretty easy to follow, yet others seem incapable of doing it. Is it because one has to love themselves first to then love another human being? These two things seem to so easy in my eyes because when I love someone or something, I give it my all to keep it in my interests.

I know everyone deserves love and I try my best to show it to them: flirting.
At the moment, I don't like any gender, (don't get me wrong, I have my attractions to males) but that doesn't stop me though from flirting with both genders.
For males, flirting is a way to show my interest. That, "Hey, I see you over there ;D"
Females... I like to feel beautiful and complimented about it, so I flirt with females to show that, in my eyes and anyone else who sees it, you're beautiful too.

Another concept that I've been thinking about recently is friendship. I think it's due to the fact that I'm having a Cho&Saint withdrawal. They're both away on adventures and I miss them dearly.

Those two were the two that I could confide in the most about life and when I just felt like shit (in other words, complain to while they didn't judge me).
So they both left and I've turned to some others who I thought ideal to just substitute for those two.

The worst thing about that was that... I confided to them so much of what has happened and yet, I feel I got dipped from this friendship.

I'm pouring my heart (sometimes) to them and yet, when I hear something new from them, it's from a secondary source. Am I not worthy of their friendship? Am I not good enough? Do I not understand because I'm only this age?

What's the point of a friendship if it's only going half-way? If it's so hard for a person to express themselves to me and yet they can easily do it to other people, then I don't want to be in that friendship. It's not worth the 'heartaches' since those should be towards actual relationships.

Those are my thoughts.

-Tcaho for now

Sunday, October 24, 2010



I spent my day yesterday in Tempe. Probably the life of Arizona (because the west side is a bit boring). I met up with Armand and designed some outfits for him. He really likes my plaid jacket [ you know the one ;D ] and... I'm going to make him one! Maybe not plaid though... we'll see.
I've always thought about living in Tempe when I was done with high school or college. Getting a condo and art-ing the crap out of it. Then I thought, "this is Arizona though. Why would I come back?"

I don't think I want to. The only reason I would is to visit, or if a family member/close friend went terribly ill and I just have to come back.

1 and half more year till I'm done with high school! ( cough, I was only 2 when Armand graduated high school LOLOLOL! )
Where am I going? What is my ideal career?

Art/Fashion school fo-sho! Either in California or Columbia right now.
Such far off places, yesh!
( you can just message me on other social networks if you want to know more :D )

but uh, my only problem with those two is that I have no idea what high school requirements are needed cos they never have them on their sites @ @;;

Other news:
I'm having a photo shoot in November on the light rail with friends in Tempe. I'm excited for it, I just have to get some fun stripe material for my skirt and finish it. : D

And a TBA photo shoot with Benjamin (middle person in my banner, hey ;D) I really love this photo

so we're going to do something similar to this.
This is quite a huge step in my modeling time (the nudeness), but... that's really the only concern of mine. I'm okay with the closeness and butt grab.
I gotta think about it.


I'm pretty surprised that I'm doing more girl cosplays. I think it's a sign that I am getting girlier. Or the fact that I see JRock cosplays more of my style/everyday wear. I dunno.
I'll have an epic cosplay for PCC 2011.
I think I'll be attending Comicon in San Diego. I might also have more than one/two ticket(s), so anyone who can drive me there can get that ticket. :D

I SPEAK IT. but not fluently.
Oh yes ;D

-Tchao for now

Monday, October 18, 2010

4 - 3 - 2 - 1 !

There are those car commercials where they have really cool background music to them, and I've been trying to find a recent one, and... I haven't found it yet.
But I did find a past one that I got quite addicted to:

Shiny Toy Gun - Major Tom

Addictions... ohohoho, so sweet, yet so bad ~

-Ciao for now

Friday, October 15, 2010

Response to Debauchery Shop

Dear GodPop,

It's understandable for women (and even men) to dress in uniform to appeal to others. The first thing that pops into my head for that is job interviews. Showing others how responsible ( and clean xD) they are. It may be uniform, but you know me, I like to add a little flavor of myself into what I'm wearing. Some kind of focal point that shows, "She can think for herself and she has the confidence of that".

Which now makes me think Lady Gaga. Yes, it's a never ending cycle of people not being unique and thinking for themselves, but why can't people think for themselves? Why is it so hard for people to stand out? Why must they be part of the norm? (questions I'll be thinking over to show emotions in our photo shoot later haha )

As for men... I don't have deep experiences with them, but... I try to look at them in the better light. Your view and say... my sisters view on men have influenced my opinion on men. With your influence, I know that there are men out there who can be hurtful, then with my sisters influence, I have a more open mind that there also men out there who can be actual gentlemen and be all chivalrous (and all that fun jazz).
With that in mind, I think that's why I'm such a huge flirt/all talk. I'm comfortable with making sensual jokes towards them, but I'm not going to give up something I don't believe in. (I hope that sentence makes sense to you/others reading this).

All this considered, this is why I have older friends. They give me their input on their life and how life was like before, and I take that in and try not to do the same thing. But I still am a teen and sometimes I can't control myself (with my anger most of the time).

Ciao for now,

PS. This song has definitely oozed out a certain emotion which I feel goes along with what we're talking about.

Infinity - The XX

[ thanks to Benjamin & Kim from Resonance ]

To Readers:
This also relates to "Let's Start a Controversy" that was started by "Men: source of anger and motivation" by GodPop. Please read those if you're interested.
Yes, we are arguing.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Let's start a Controversy

My partner in crime, GodPop posted on her blog entitled, MEN: source of anger and motivation.
All in all, she talked about how men are pigs and in her art, that is where her motivation comes. Putting men down and being ashamed of themselves.

At the end, she asked:
"What is a main motivator that you want to create/look for in yours/others' art?"
At first, I was going to answer in that small comment box, but it started to get long. In conclusion, this post is dedicated to her since it's my answer to her question, but if you're reading this, and not GodPop, that's fine too.

It's a great way to knowing who I am as an artist.
My motivation, is like GodPop's, except towards women. Don't get me wrong, I like being a female, showing off what I have, and in general, just being a girl.
Nevertheless, celebrities influence society and society looks down upon anyone who doesn't follow them. Especially with women. Women now use their bodies as accessories and the norm of most women/girls want to be like that.
"Why can't people think for themselves?"
A question that always haunts me.

So my common theme in my art, fashion designs and how I dress and support myself are always filled with lingering questions that I find intriguing, depressing, or just plain simple. The only reason why one other person might not understand is because I'm the only one who has the answers to them.


-Ciao for now

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Je voudrais...

...un montre !!

Korean culture has finally taken it's toll on my life. Hopefully for the better though! ( although my opening is in French!? )

How would it be for the better though? If it's an obsession, that isn't healthy, right?


Sometimes obsessions aren't healthy for the body, but if they get someone to do something active, it's helping them. And by them, I mean me~

( and not just the dancing in front of the mirror )

My first accomplishment was Gee by SNSD aka Girl's Generation.
I only learned up to the chorus though D:

My second one is NU ABO by f(x).
and I am past the chorus!! YER YER YER!

I don't know what it is about NU ABO. Either the odd hopping parts or the fact that I get to lift my shirt.
Some other dances I want to learn:

SNSD - Oh! and Run Devil Run
Rainbow - A
T-Ara - I go Crazy because of You
Lee Jung Hyun - Suspicious Man
4 Minute - HUH/hit your heart

[ my more unachievable list ]

TVXQ - Mirotic & Wrong Number
SHINee - Lucifer
SS501 - Love like This
GDragon - Heartbreaker

You guys should vote on which one in the side barrrrr :D

Uhh, onto my Korean obsession... it's more of a SNSD obsession.
My persona on firefox, icon for my computer, and desktop is all SNSD related.

Yeah, you see that picture on the right?
That's Jessica. I find her more appealing than the other members of SNSD. It's probably the fact that she can pull off the blonde. * ^ *

I will learn Korean and go abroad after art school! CHYEAH!

-Ciao for now ;D

Monday, October 4, 2010

Saboten Con 2010 RECAP

I'm going to try and collect all my memories from this weekend.

Disclaimer: Friday = Eventful. Saturday = mind blowing. Sunday = Sexual.

Friday -
The most eventful day.. of course. It was the Japanese Fashion show!
I didn't get to the convention area till 4.00, but I was a bit peeved (Tall-man could feel my bitterness oozing through me) about some things and I just had to get over it and cooled down.
By the time the fashion show came by, we were all heading towards the fashion show room.
I was also short of models and A and I found a guy who fit our style. I give him a HUGE THANKS (and love) for doing this for me/Dictator Fantasyland. And huge props to his friend who supported him in walking the runway.

I will be on the look out for JFashion show pictures teheh

After the show, some close friends stayed behind and I got to hug them with such passion! I haven't seen their handsome/beautiful faces in a long time. It was good flirting catching up with them.

Saturday -
I was late to the convention. I went through quite... an intense experience that hasn't really sunken in yet. On the other hand! ... I dressed up as a random JRocker/Reita inspired (nose fold) outfit, and here's my story for you:
The ladies and I went to QT before going to the convention area. I got my coffee and was waiting in line to pay. One of the workers come by and I set my drink down. He looks at me and says, "Woah... I soo don't need this right now"
I wish I had a picture to show you what I looked liked. But I didn't have a camera all weekend and didn't get to take ANY kind of photo. D:

I also hung out most of the day with Alex! He's the coolest kid on the block. I give him much credit since he introduced me to a ton of Japanese fashion enthusiast (Mister T and Benjamin, since I've mentioned them before on here)

Also had my mind blown Saturday. Setsu, told me about magic tricks by a Mister Benny Wong. Setsu was right. When I saw that first magic trick, my mind was definitely blown.

Sunday -

I also hung out some more with Alex and the amazing Filipino, Armand!!
I was sitting with Armand at his table and he had muffins. Being my odd self, I asked if he liked the top or bottom. Reply: Top I, personally, like the bottom. (hahah, totally not sexual). Then, Armand had this theory that you could twist the top of the muffin off like a bear bottle. Skeptical at first, he did it! It came out perfect and it was his first try too.

This is how amazing Armand is.

After a while or something, I went to Mister T's table and met the person he was sharing a table with. Her name is Hazel. WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON. CHYEA!

Then Mister Benny Wong and his friend (who's name is "Li" but... I might be wrong) was leaving back to wherever he came from. Hugs goodbye + more magic tricks = us two becoming pen pals & him receiving once of my prints :D

Mister T also came by our table finally. Good thing too, because he bought a Sex Pot ReVeNGe flannel/shirt/thing.
I must say though, he did the hottest smoothest thing that I have ever seen him do:
He went to go get more money to by the shirt and while I was waiting (I'm also on the outside of the table) I was talking to A. I couldn't hear her, so I had to bend over. With my butt open to view, Mister T very smoothly sticks the money in my butt pocket.




Though, I had slight suspicion that V could have done it, 'cause she was standing by me when it happened.

Then the Exhibitor's hall was ending and I went to say bye to everyone. I noticed however that I am pimping/dating so many people that it's not even funny anymore:
Mister T: newest hoe to the collection. we decided our sex names for each other. woah~
V: my girlfriend. she tried cheating on me with Mister Benny Wong. (oh hell nahhh jk)
Shirley: ;D It just happened. we clicked like that... so we hooked up, like that.


I think that's all I can remember. It was a pretty okay weekend. Didn't sell a lot.

J’aime tous art libre j'ai obtenu!!

-Ciao for now