Monday, October 25, 2010

Friendship and Love.

I've been thinking lately about different concepts in and about life, and one thing that has constantly returned is the concept of love.
I find it questionable when high schoolers get a "significant other" and then a day/week/month later it's all "I love you so much, muah", when they don't really know the feeling of passion.

It's more of infatuation really.

To my actual question,

If I know about these reaction(s), would I do the same when in high school or if I waited, would it be like that in later years...
would it be an easier relationship since we're not taking time on the heavy infatuation?
There's no doubt about it that there's infatuation, and attraction tied into a relationship... if not, where's the spark? The appeal of the other person?
I've wondered lately too why it's so hard to maintain a relationship or to even start one. I was told love can't be half assed. That seems pretty easy to follow, yet others seem incapable of doing it. Is it because one has to love themselves first to then love another human being? These two things seem to so easy in my eyes because when I love someone or something, I give it my all to keep it in my interests.

I know everyone deserves love and I try my best to show it to them: flirting.
At the moment, I don't like any gender, (don't get me wrong, I have my attractions to males) but that doesn't stop me though from flirting with both genders.
For males, flirting is a way to show my interest. That, "Hey, I see you over there ;D"
Females... I like to feel beautiful and complimented about it, so I flirt with females to show that, in my eyes and anyone else who sees it, you're beautiful too.

Another concept that I've been thinking about recently is friendship. I think it's due to the fact that I'm having a Cho&Saint withdrawal. They're both away on adventures and I miss them dearly.

Those two were the two that I could confide in the most about life and when I just felt like shit (in other words, complain to while they didn't judge me).
So they both left and I've turned to some others who I thought ideal to just substitute for those two.

The worst thing about that was that... I confided to them so much of what has happened and yet, I feel I got dipped from this friendship.

I'm pouring my heart (sometimes) to them and yet, when I hear something new from them, it's from a secondary source. Am I not worthy of their friendship? Am I not good enough? Do I not understand because I'm only this age?

What's the point of a friendship if it's only going half-way? If it's so hard for a person to express themselves to me and yet they can easily do it to other people, then I don't want to be in that friendship. It's not worth the 'heartaches' since those should be towards actual relationships.

Those are my thoughts.

-Tcaho for now

1 comment:

  1. When it was just Cho&Saint, they invested in your relationship because they had the opportunity to and supposedly were "purer" in their personal convictions since they didn't really have a significant other. I only realize when I got older that friendships needed more care when younger because it strengthens the future relationships when you're older (with the significant other too). Personally, I can't maintain any close friendships. It's a defensive issue I have. So....

    I'm just thinking this is an opportunity to be 'stronger' even if they aren't physically near.
    I think if you waited it out, you'd learn and do better in life watching people's mistakes. You're smart now, so just do what you do!